Insight from the Heart

The last few months have been intense to say the least. Enough said.

When I was a child I cried very easily. I was told to go to my room or stop crying. You get the idea. This went on throughout my teenage years and when I married, my husband would tell me the same thing (well, not go to your room!). I once told him "When I stop crying that is when you'd better start worrying because I won't care any more." I did stop crying. We divorced in 1980. I grew to be very proud of my ability to NOT cry. After all, I'm not a 'cry baby'.

When this whole process started, it started with uncontrollable crying. I didn't know where it was coming from (the 'why' of it) and I could not stop it. Needless to say, an extremely confusing time. Lately, that is where I am again. This time of crying comes with deep insights. When I say 'deep' I mean deep as on all levels. The heart opens and aligns with the throat. I find my self habitually trying to stop or slow it down. Some days my heart begins crying (opening) as soon as I wake up. There's no stopping it.

Today I had these memories of my childhood's reactions from family members which told me "If you cry, you're bad. If you cry, I won't love you." Translation: When you cry, I feel uncomfortable. When you cry, it brings up my pain. At this insight my heart felt compassion; no not "I feel sorry for"...it was "My heart understands". My heart understands that this is generation to generation to generation to generation to generation until we have become a planet of closed hearts. I am sure that I did this to my own children and for that I am deeply sorry. I ask you to forgive me my Babies.

Sooooooo, looks like I'm gonna be a "Cry Baby" for awhile; at least I hope so. My intention is to be that open hearted child again.  And, guess what?  I'm not going to go to my room this time.

Beloved I AM

You are the flame in my heart

You light my way in the dark

I AM blessed. I AM grateful.

Change, Change, Change

I've lost track of the number of days since these writings began. It's been a few days since I've blogged my writings, though I have continued meditating and writing down messages from my Self, as well as a heck of a lot of energy movement and clearing. This Solar Eclipse and New Moon energies definitely did a job on and through me.

I seem to be back to center physically and spiritually I am different. I can't say how exactly. Third eye and crown centers are more open and I feel as well as see more vivid colors (purples, pinks, greens, golds, and lots of white light) and geometric patterns.

Yesterday, during a nap, I had a dream of being carried (with my books and journal) by a very handsome man with a French accent to a square vehicle for a very fast ride (as passengers and no sign of a driver) with strange scenery flying by. I was not afraid - more like amazed and observant. I asked my I AM Presence for a translation of the dream and got..."Trust in safety. Open to new experience. You have the knowledge and you are doing the work for fast transformation. Spirit is riding with you."

I've had other challenges over the past few weeks and have made some changes that in the past would have knocked me off center. The changes were needed and I knew it so the decisions were rather easy. I admit that for the first few days afterwards the ego messed with me ("What are you doing???"). I KNOW I AM a power much greater than I believe I AM. I Know that my ego is losing its power very quickly. Even though I don't understand it and even though I can't analyze it, I am going to trust in ME - a power that is greater than I Know. In trusting that I send forth that Power in the form of unconditional love to every thought form and manifestation that it be made Perfect in the Divine Plan for the enlightenment of the world.

So Be It. And, So It IS.

Brenda

Light My Fire

Yes, I know, the last post was pretty intense but what can I say? NOW things have settled down and energy/light is flowing once again. Does that mean it's over? No, I don't believe that. My experience in times such as these is that the chaos energy pushes and pushes everything to be released to the top and then (sigh) comes peace. I am reminded and I see that we really are never given more than we can handle.

Meditation and energy work this morning created huge heart opening complete with tears, my body shaking/releasing and dna helix visions.

I am finally feeling as if I can do more than just get through the day and night. This, of course, is not the time to rest on my laurels. Yes, I'll allow things to settle in and I ask that the voids created be filled with my Mighty I AM Presence.

I'm feeling transformed. I'm feeling more on the way. I am willing. I am willing. I am willing.

And, So It IS,
Brenda

Jose Feliciano - "Light My Fire" (1967)

Chaos and Crisis

New layers of un-consciousness want to be seen and released. They've been working their way to this place for over a week now - building and building. Wow, this IS happening.

I am willing. I am willing. I am willing.

I am in some sort of 'dark night'. I can sleep for 2-3 hours only and am eating very little.

It wants to be released. I WANT it released. It's stuck and has been there a longgggg time. It's deep and old; lifetimes old.

The energies here now are drawing darkness to the surface. This, for me, is very similar to the years of 2002 - 2006. Relentless and overwhelming. Am I crazy? I thought I was through with this. Blah, blah, blah and around again. If feels as if aliens are in my body, pulling every which way. Once again, I can kick and scream and Why ME? I settle my self down for a bit and here it comes sneaking in again. I KNOW I can't control this; that I must surrender and trust.

Where did my intuition go? I've lost direction. I re-connect and I feel that connection. Before I know it I'm disoriented again. YIKES!

It is said that the Universe was created out of chaos. I do know that new beginnings have always seemed to follow times of crisis. I KNOW that in past times surrender and trust were the answer; the only answer. I will get through this but it is intense. There's a war going on in here and it's called Fear. This is the World Cup of Fear.

Brenda

Do You Feel It?

Woke to "It's the Climb"

This has been a heck of a week for me energetically. Sunday is the Solar Eclipse. I always feel these planetary build ups. I am not always knowing that they are related to the energies working their way through me. Today I KNOW it. It is a challenge to stay present and surrendered. Aspects of my self are screaming (I don't want to be here!) and are calmed and released by I AM even if only momentarily. I (i) cannot control. I am once again not knowing who I am. Some say this is a good thing and I believe that to be true. It comes on me as an aha..."I don't know who I am anymore." Aspects of self are afraid of this. Other aspects are peaceful about it. I breathe and release the conflict.

My intention is to keep walking forward feet planted deeply. This is like child birth. There is no going back. It's all in there and it wants out. I AM assisting with every breath.

Keep climbing,
Brenda

The Climb (with lyrics on-screen)

I Have Been IN It

This week began with being tired. VERY tired. As the week has progressed, I have been tired, headachey with flu-like symptoms, and feeling of being ungrounded. Nothing to do for it but Trust and Surrender, knowing that this too shall pass. Knowing that there are levels of my consciousness that are doing their thing which effects my physical body, mind and spirit.

Let's hop on over to "perspective".

I can see this as Ok, I feel like crap and I want to get rid of it NOW! Or, I can see this as Ok, it's all good, just another level of healing that will pass if I Trust and Surrender to what IS.

So, although I did momentarily, from time to time over these past few days, go to the "crap" perspective I immediately went to Trust and Surrender. I pray each morning and gave thanks for the good stuff because I AM the good stuff. I am reminded of others who are going through the very same things but don't know what the heck is happening to them and I feel blessed - even momentarily.

If I look in my rear view mirror, I see that in years past this kind of energy would have had me in a panic wanting "IT" OUT. I am pleased with my self that I Now recognize these energies for what they are; a big letting go of energy no longer supported at my current vibration. It's just energy, I tell my self. Relax. Trust. Surrender.

Today I feel better after 3 solid days of not feeling so hot. I had many dreams and download talk during sleep time last night. Not so during previous nights this week. It's all connected in this build up and then a smooth flow comes in again.

Brenda

Awareness of Awareness

Writing Down My Soul, Day 16
Body of Consciousness, Day 13

My body is tired today.

I had lovely guests for lunch yesterday to help me celebrate July 4th. I intended to stay aware of myself during the visit. Most of the time I was that director behind the camera watching. I did pretty well with it. I reviewed the experience after all had gone and saw where additional detachment is needed on my part.

What does that mean? Noticing. Noticing triggers. Noticing judgments and how the ego tries to jump in there in my head in the old, habitual way. I experienced standing back and watching on one level, while feeling and thinking on another level. Jeesh, no wonder, I get confused (but less so, with this practice). So much going on. But it's really cool to be over here and over here and over there; all in the same place. Somehow I feel and know this is all coming together to be ME; the REAL me.

Today, I rest, balance, acclimate.
Brenda

Writing Down My Soul, Day 14
Body of Consciousness, Day 11

The cake is baking.

Oh, really? Chocolate, angel food, coconut? Cute.

I am behind the camera. Directing. Aware of awareness.

I'm feeling some fear around THAT statement. Feels pretty big. Better breathe.

cliches

'Flow' has become cliche. Often said but lost meaning because of over use. Cliche has truth. Flow has truth. Individual truth, historic and mass consciousness truth.

I feel an 'aha' here regards to perspective. Somehow I'm being led back to 'perspectives" from earlier in the week.

Mockingbird

Writing Down My Soul, Days 12 & 13
Body of Consciousness, Days 9 & 10

Here are my notes from yesterday and today.

Awoke 3:45ish. My absolute favorite time of the day on Planet Earth. So much silence that I hear and feel movement.

Did you know that mockingbirds are awake and singing at night? (Well, early morning anyway.) I don't recall having experienced mockingbirds before this year. This is the second time this year. I'll check out the "totem" qualities and find out how (or, if?) mockingbird is playing out for me right now. I just don't believe in coincidences.

Mockingbird Lesson
The song of the mockingbird is, in fact, a medley of the calls of many other birds. Each imitation is repeated two or three times, then another song is started, all in rapid succession. As totem, mockingbird teaches the power of song and voice. It can also help find your “sacred song” or your life’s purpose. Your inner song is never lost. Mockingbird helps flush out people and events, allowing you to see who and what they are. You hear the true song of others. Mockingbird sings of harmony, creative imagination and intuition. Mockingbird is a very cool bird.

The weather this day in Tiburon will be glorious. No fog coming through the Golden Gate is a very good sign. I'm looking forward to lunch with an old school chum and appreciating friendship.

Many 'snippets' of thought are racing around in my head this morning. Slow down, I tell my self as I ask for message of Highest Good. Messages today are in the form of color, body energy (heart and head dizziness) and peace. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed.

7/2/10

You're just going to have to write the blog today. There's too much for me to digest right now.

Back of the brain and crown/3rd eye activity.

"Opening occurred. AAA = absorb, acclimate, allow.

That's all she wrote folks!
Brenda

Energy Work

Writing Down My Soul, Day 11
Body of Consciousness, Day 8

I have felt a very subtle energy build up over the past several days. I'm not always sure while it happens but definitely feel it when it reaches a certain point. The energy body "holds" is the best way I can describe it. So while, I've been watching for signs of changes in the energy body after the full moon/lunar eclipse, they were not apparent to me until today. The only signal I have been receiving is that I've definitely needed my afternoon nap (and they've been more than naps; rather 2 hours sleeps).

When the energy body "holds" I don't feel energy running. This is always a clear signal that it is time to clear, balance and align the energy centers (aka chakras) with Mother Earth, Source Energy and each other. It is a beautiful process and takes as long as I want it to take because I can really get into it with lots of visualization OR I can quickly connect to Mother Earth, open the centers one by one up to Source (aligning along the way) and back down into Mother Earth. Today we took our time and my energy runs clearly as we speak. Mmmm, lovely.

Moral of the story: Pay attention to how the body feels. Do you feel the aliveness of your body? If not, clear your chakras. You can find really good videos on Google and YouTube to show you how.

Until tomorrow,
Brenda

Bread Crumbs

Writing Down My Soul, Day 10
Body of Consciousness, Day 7

I often awaken and, before coming back to complete consciousnes, I hear the end of downloads from 'night work'. I must write these down right away or they are lost the way that dreams are lost. This morning I heard

..importance of the aires of the lower bodies. And then, laser focus of the 3rd eye.

The spelling of "aires" was very clear to me. I later Googled aires.

Mostly, it is an obsolete spelling of "air". In the French 'aire' refers to rivers. (Hmmm, seems to be a connection there with recent messages.) 'Aire' also refers to a human gene that is expressed in the thymus.

So, Brenda, take your pick. What does it mean to YOU? Just like yesterday with the word 'perspective' that came to me in meditation, I believe these are seeds in my garden. They will sprout when they have matured enough to do so.

I always follow these trails left behind to see where they lead. Sometimes, they do and often they lead to something else and I follow the bread crumbs to the end of that trail. Often there is a reward. Often I am left in tangled confusion. Often, I must leave it alone and know that when I am ready, I'll be led to revelation.

I AM a seeker, you see, and ultimately, I will find.

Manana,
Brenda

Perspective

Writing Down My Soul, Day 9
Body of Consciousness, Day 6

First of all, I am laughing at my self. I decided to use my journal this morning rather than the keyboard directly. It felt easier. Now, I'm trying to decipher what I wrote!

"Perspective" is the subject of Now.

"'dry spells'. There is no such thing. It is not possible. The Universe is constant movement. Within stillness is movement.

You expect fireworks. Appreciate the process of creation.
Observe. Purely observe and feel the body/heart from This perspective."

And that's all she wrote folks.

I absorb this and insights come but they are tangled.

I Google'perspective'. This is a big word with many definitions (perspectives!). I ask for clarity.

"There is validity in all opinions."

Okay, I believe that. Maybe not enough?

Okey, dokey then. I'm gonna sit with this for awhile to see how it untangles itself. Good grief, why does it have to be so confusing sometimes?

Brenda

Surrender to Happiness

Writing Down My Soul, Day 8
Body of Consciousness, Day 5

After my day of 'doing nothing' yesterday I slept really well and am rested. I am constantly shown what happens when I surrender. It encourages me. I'm feeling very happy.

Hmmm. What is happiness?

My BFF for the past few weeks has been expressing her simple happiness to me almost every day. She has gone through a very challenging 10 months or so. And then, she surrendered to all that she was resisting. The result? Happiness.

A number of years ago (when I started this awakening) I read whatever I could get my hands on if I thought it would help me to understand what was happening to me. There was a lot of talk about happiness and joy. Joy? What's that? I realized that I not only had no joy, but that I had completely forgotten what it felt like.

Over the years of this work, joy has crept back into my Being. Joy is a HUGE word and a HUGER feeling encompassing happiness and gratitude. Sometimes it comes in the form of simple peace and contentment. Nature is abundantly joyful. Watch a tree sometime as it reaches for and soaks up the sunshine or the rain. Watch a puppy or a small child play and you see that they don't THINK about whether they are are happy - or not. They are pure un-self-awareness and joy. They simply are and they BE.

I notice that when I pray now (I did not know how in the beginning.) I am not asking for God to do or be or whatever. My prayers are expressions of sheer gratitude for the fulness of my contentment. I have never felt less burdened by myself or by the world.

Most folks think that "happiness" is pure luck - something that will descend upon you like fine weather if you're lucky enough. Luck? No. My happiness is the consequence of personal effort. I have to stay on top of my happiness; acknowledging it, smiling to it, singing to it and asking for more of it because I am worth it. If I don't stay on top of my happiness, I know that it will leak out little by little like air from a balloon. I must participate all the time in the creation of my blessings.

All the sorrow and trouble in this world is created by unhappy people. On a personal level, I can sure see how my own unhappiness brought suffering or distress to those around me. On a global level, take a look at Hitler or any of the other unhappy dictators of history. I see the search for happiness and contentment not just self-benefiting, but as a generous gift to the world - one person at a time. Yes, it feels that BIG to me and, after all is said and done, I can only change me.

No Sounds of Music today. Bobby McFaren (Don't Worry, Just Be Happy) comes to mind though. Google it on YouTube if you are so inclined.

Manana,
Brenda

Freedom

Writing Down My Soul, Day 8
Body of Consciousness, Day 5

I AM blessed. Unlike most, I no longer choose to have a regular J O B. My children are grown, independent, self-sufficient people on their own. (I like to believe I had something to do with this.) I am free to eat when hungry, sleep when tired, devote my energy and time to whomever, whatever and pretty much whenever I decide. I have learned that my "needs" are simple and are always (without exception) met. Like all things (past and present), I created all this. I AM grateful.

For the past few days, but today especially, my body feels drained. I forget what it is to sleep more than 5-6 hours a night. The heat waves are fast and intense. I know that I can ask for some relief if I am really wanting it. (Back off guys and let me get some real shuteye!) Not now. I can handle this.

Meditation was short and sweet (literally). My body is telling me to rest (Do nothing). This day I allow the full moon and lunar eclipse energies to do their work. I simply receive.

Manana,
Brenda

P.S. I've posted my Sound of Music for today too. Now, I like this Nelly Furtado tune but never totally connected to the words. This music thing really interests and entertains me.

I'm Like A Bird Sing Along

The Sound of Music

Writing Down My Soul, Day 7
Body of Consciousness, Day 4


I start the waking up this day early (Later look and see it is 3:45 a.m. This is not unusual. I close my eyes and hear music. This is also not unusual. Sometimes it's the same song for daaayys. Just can't get it out of my head. Me singing to me. This is a completely new one. I've posted it if you're interested.

"doo doo do doo. doo doo do doo."
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

I go through the ritual of connecting - of course, now I also send out the invitation to Body of Consciousness. All are in place, thank you very much!

I AM a mighty oak tree with strong, Divine light-filled roots extending around my Self and reaching down, down into the Mother - back up through the trunk and limbs reaching up, up to Father/Mother. The light flows beautifully back down to the heart. (There's that 'confluence' again. Yummy.)

I AM ready to receive.

The little girl skips up to and knocks at the door.
Can you all come out to play?
Off they go. I release them to do their own thing and I refocus to here/now.

The heart is a boat (Living Spirit) 'tethered', but being pulled by the currents. (Don't you just love all the words and metaphors?) With each strong pull "Stay in your boat".

Feeling schizophrenic as multiple films are projected and roll by. Lots of spinning in the lower energy centers.

Finally, I pull into the station: Fill 'er up, please.
I AM blessed.

A little caveat here, you all.
We're being bombarded (All for Highest Good, of course!) with amazing energy. We signed up for, begged and prayed for this now moment. No sniveling allowed. Stay in your own boat.

Brenda

You and I Collide [lyrics]

"It Is Safe Now"

Writing Down My Soul: Day 6

I am in a place called Tiburon. I Wikipedia'd "Tiburon" and found several islands around the world (including one in Haiti!) called Tiburon. Tiburón means "shark" in Spanish. My Tiburon is a part of the Tiburon Peninsula; a landform of the San Francisco Bay Area's Marin County. The Tiburon Peninsula is home of a number of rare and endangered flora species. Tiburon is also the site of ancient Native American rock carvings left by the Coast Miwok indians who lived here for thousands of years. Whether Lt. Juan Manuel de Ayala saw a number of sharks (leopard sharks to be exact!) near where he anchored his ship (the San Carlos) in August 1775, off what is now Angel Island, or whether the tree-covered Tiburon Peninsula looked like a shark, no one seems to know. He named the land Punta del Tiburon, or Shark Point.

That was our history lesson for the day; thank you very much.

I sit and watch the light and colors change as the sun rises and the fog moves over Angel Island and the waters of the San Francisco Bay. I hear fog horns, bird songs and movement of water. I feel a cool breeze on my face and around my body. All of me smiles at the beauty of it All.

Thank you Father/Mother, God/Goddess, All That IS
I am grateful for this new day.

Mother Earth
I thank you from my heart for this beauty and bountiful magnificence.

Thank you for allowing me to share this experience with you.
I AM abundance.

I had a bit of a poem come in to my Awareness just now. "Hidden" seems to be the subject. Guess I'll have to wait for that to be revealed. I AM patient.

I connect and call to my Circle of Light to join me in this NOW. I take "roll call". All are present and accounted for. I AM grateful for the Company of Heaven. I AM, I AM, I AM ready to receive.

At the end of meditation this day I feel/see a girl child running freely and joyously. She is maybe 4-5 years old with long, shiny, light brown ringlets blowing wildly around her head. This is the shiniest little human being with blue eyes you ever did see. I smile as I watch her romping and rolling through the wildflowers. My heart opens wide. I ask her Where have you been?

"Hiding."

So, you're not hiding any more?

"No, It's safe now."

Yes, it IS safe now.

Brenda

The Insight

Writing Down My Soul, Day 6
Body of Consciousness, Day 2

If you recall, yesterday was the first day of meditation after inviting Body of Consciousness to play with me. It was a bit of a challenging day energetically. The physical body once again experienced what I call "hot waves". Also, that "roiling" energy throughout the body and mind. These energies always tell me that I'm in a release time. I have to BE with these energies, (feel them - YIKES!) and breathe and breathe deeply some more in order to release. This, by the way, gives the mind something to do too. I've found that understanding is over rated. I don't need to KNOW what is being released. It is, quite simply, ready to go. At the end of all this, I feel an emptiness of sorts. I ask for and picture Golden Light of Father/Mother God's Perfection entering through the crown and filling my body. This light is intelligent and knows where to go to fill the void(s) left behind from the release(s) and So It Is. And, this my friends, IS THE WORK.

Meditation today was experiential. Get your own. LOL!

The Insight came during that meditation - no words, just Knowing. The three aspects of Body Consciousness (Energy Body, Living Spirit & Master Intelligence) had previously been coming into my Awareness. With my personal invitation to them to "Come on in and play with me", they hit the ground running. They needed more space than was available. This triggers all the bodies to work together to release whatever is ready to be released - from whatever lifetime. Me, I just need to get out of the way. Surrender and allow. I'm always guided as to what I can do to assist (eat, breathe, sleep, walk - whatever). My job is to follow that guidance and the sooner I do that, the sooner that space is created.

At the end of meditation today I was in a mountain valley. Three rivers came together in the center of that valley. They had traveled a long and challenging distance in order to re-unite. These rivers were happiness beyond happiness. I stood there in the center of that confluence quietly drowning in 3 rivers of joy at the same time.

Aha! another Insight. As I wrote the word 'confluence', it was like, Where did that word come from? I don't remember knowing that word. I looked it up and indeed it was the perfect expression of where I was.

WikiDictionary states: Confluence: In geography, describes the meeting of two or more bodies of water. It refers to the point where a tributary joins a more major river, called the mainstem. It indicates the source (river or stream)—headwaters where two or more streams meet to become One.

Do you think there's a message in there somewhere?

Brenda

Body of Consciousness

Writing Down My Soul: Day 5

I have connected with my Body of Consciousness. What is that you ask? Well, it is made up of three aspects of I AM - the Energy Body, Living Spirit and Master Intelligence; in other words, Awareness with a capital "A". I have invited these three aspects of Self (which I will call the 'Team', - with a capital "T"!) to come and play with me more fully. (The intention is 7 days. You see, the ego feels it can handle "baby steps".) The Team has responded as follows: Energy Body: "Feel"; Living Spirit: I Am Ready; Master Intelligence: "Let's Do it". I expect that these three romping around together in my consciousness will bring up some interesting stuff, and so, another level of Self as I begin Day 1 of Body of Consciousness.

I AM my I AM Presence. I AM ready to receive.

The ego/child is frightened right NOW.

Be still child. You'll see.

I get it - another one of those "This hurts me more than it's gonna hurt you's" and I say Well then don't do it! (I always wanted to say that.)

Just watch quietly please. I love you.

I didn't expect this reaction so quickly but here it is and maybe I set myself up for this. Pardon me while I go breathe like crazy and move this OUT.

I'm back. I'm needing a walk, morning sunshine, air and bird song right NOW. There are many ways to move energy.

To BE continued....

The Experience

Writing Down My Soul: Day 4

Dreams of talking with my ego about fear. I used the analogy of horror films in this talk with ego (which I haven't watched since "Halloween" and made the decision not to scare my Self any more!). "Experience the fear and you will see that it is not real."

I AM, I AM, I AM. I AM ready to receive.

I call to My Circle of Light - all those Beings of this Soul's Highest Good, and ask you to join me in in this Now Moment. I AM open to your light and love.

Connecting with the breath, I am feeling challenged to allow the energy to flow without the mind interference.

Focused Breathing.

Heart energy becomes huge then moving down to the solar plexus front and back filling, swirling and moving down, down and out the bottoms of my feet, down down. Breathe, breathe and the breath becomes shallow with long spaces between in/out.

"Experiential" and I KNOW that is what this is about.

I'm sitting in a dentist's chair with the 'laughing gas' mask thingy over my nose (my favorite part of going to the dentist!) and I'm at that stage of the gas when the head goes waaaah, waaaah, waaaah.

I AM Awareness watching awareness and the multi-dimensional qualities of the experiences of the mind, body, emotions, feelings and oh, so much more. We all come together in Trust and surrender. Soooo much is going on right Now. I am every where all at once filled will light and color. Not just any color - purples, violets, golds and whites whiter than white as the body breathes itself.

I ask What is this about? What do you want to share?

"The experience. The Oneness."

I see and feel from high above this body, through the middle of the body, out and down far below the body, a pillar of white light. I feel more than grounded by this Light.

I AM grateful.

The "Brat"

Writing Down My Soul - Day 3
As preface, and just to let you know: This "meditation" was about 2 hours long. A lot goes on during this and I am not aware of "time". This is a perfect example of, when doing something new or different, the ego acts out. I am, by the way, interested in hearing and chatting about your experiences in this regard!

So here we go:

The ego/personality is kicking and screaming today. What a brat! I tell it to take a time-out and it does for a minute and then comes sneaking back into the room of my consciousness. I ignore it by coming back to the breath. I AM, I AM, I AM.

I watch and try not to grasp or label. Just BE. My Soul does not always speak with words - and even then, very few and profound. Colors, energy flows here and there. I watch and feel, allowing as my Self directs ''No grasping please".

I am asked to put down the journal and use the keyboard. I do and reconnect.

"Shhhsh Child. You are editing. Release and breathe. I AM here". I feel pressure in my forehead and heart.

Wow, this is a challenge. Maybe adding the blog thing to the 30 days thing wasn't such a good idea after all. (ego!) And now you've added the keyboard? Are you nuts?

Watching, watching, watching.

You're just messing up your beautiful meditations with this crap. (Guess whoo-ooo?)

"The breath. Teach that child surrender by example. Simply say me me. Recieve."

I'm carrlying a peace sign down a wide boulevard (with tall buildings on each side) filled to capacity with people also carrying signs. Their signs say "Love". It could be San Francisco, LA, New York - any big City in the world. Isn't this what we all wish for?

Meet "Tony"

Ok, here we go. Day 2 of 30. Now, please understand that what you get here is what I (emphasis on I) get. No rhyme or reason to it.

I sometimes (in fact, almost always lately!) wake up with words in my head. Yesterday it was "body elemental". OK.... I Google (Don't you just l o v e Google?) 'body elemental' and find out we all have one. Google it if you're interested. So the fact that I have this incredible Being that has been with me since Forever totally resonates.

From my journal....

I awoke and officially met "Tony" - a small in size (it seems) Being that has been with me "for eons". I had asked with great love (only yesterday) that my "body elemental" show itself and communicate with me. Well.. Ask & it is given.

I asked, What shall I call you?

"Tony".

Are you kidding me?

"Yes. - And No", said with giggles, for this is a very playful energy.

Well all right then. Tony it is. Pleased to meetcha!

Off and on of late there has been energy of pain and stuckness (Don't you love new made-up words?) in the left (masculine) of my body. I asked Tony to help release it and immediately felt a shift of consciousness to the left. Tony sits on my left shoulder (I told you he's small!). "I" got out of the way and Tony assisted/moved energy out and down. I felt/saw garbage being hauled to a landfill, composted and returned via large trucks. What was in the trucks? L O V E.

Thank you, Dear Tony.

My Pleasure

And finally,

Time for the Blog. Ok, Barb!

Manana,

Brenda